Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Needing a change...

So, I've lived in Virginia since I was 15. I'm 28 now, that's 13 years. It hardly seems that long, but at the same time it feels like forever. I started in Alexandria for a few months, then my parents bought a house in Dale City. When I turned 18 I moved to Manassas, and was there until three years ago, when Kevin and I bought our house.

I've never liked living in Virginia. When we moved here I was just starting 10th grade, and I absolutely hated that I left all my friends in Texas. I ended up meeting someone and it was okay. My dad retired, and eventually they moved to Arkansas, where most of my mom's family lives. I had my own life here at the time - a job, friends, I was living with my boyfriend - I had no reason to follow. Then after that relationship fizzled, I just stayed. I don't really know why, but I did. I met Kevin, and eventually we moved out here to Winchester, and while I still don't really LOVE Virginia, I like it better out in the country than in the city.

Kevin and I just spent a week in Ohio visiting his brother Scott, and his family. We had such a wonderful time. Sara is soo organized and crafty, and motivated, I love her to death! I so wish we lived closer. They live is a beautiful town. It's like, the perfect little suburbia town. No white picket fence, but thats probably only because of the HOA rules! LOL Anyways, we both love the area, and have thought about moving there. The problem is, with Scotts job, he could be moved somewhere else, at any time. Here in Winchester we have family that we know ill be around for a good long time. Moving up there, Scott and Sara would be all the family we have. If they left, we'd be alone.

Not that we could actually move right now anyway. We are 'stuck' in our house, unless we want to take a HUGE hit, which we just can't do. So realistically, we aren't leaving this house until the housing market picks back up. So I've been thinking, WHY do I want to move? WHAT is it that I need?

I need a change. Something. Something different. I like where I live. It's a quiet cul-de-sac, there's woods and a creek behind us, I'm not in the city, but close enough that I can get to whatever I need in a reasonable time. My house is small, but really is big enough for the three of us. We have a nice yard, and great neighbors. We really only know the people directly on either side of us, but I have no complaints about anyone on our street. So why move? Maybe moving isn't the change I need. I know that Kevin is needing some change too.

Maybe the change I need is right here. Change in my home. Clean it up. Get rid of things. I think, if I can force myself to detach from things, that I could have a home that I feel happy in. Right now, I look around, and I feel cluttered. I love my living room, it is simple. There isn't a lot of clutter (other than Bella's stuff, but that is different). But I go in the laundry room, and things are piled up on shelves and just messy and chaotic. The computer room is the same way - I go in and the closet is crammed with stuff, the computer desk is cluttered, there is stuff shoved in every corner. I get stressed and anxious just thinking about it.

So maybe I just need to simplify my life, simplify my home. Get rid of the clutter. Maybe I just need to change WHAT I have, rathere than WHERE I am. Moving would only move my clutter, and then I would be unhappy in the new place.

Unhappy is the wrong word to use, I think though. I AM happy with where I am in life. I am a mom, and a wife, and I have a great husband and a gorgeous daughter. I have good friends and wonderful family that lives nearby. I am blessed in so many ways, so I cannot say that I am unhappy, because that is a lie.. I just feel FRUSTRATED with my home.

I go into other people's homes, and they feel so clean and organized (especially Sara's! LOL). And while I don't think I can be as organized as Sara (who has everything labled...) I want to be more organized. have a place for everything, and be able to find things. And not open the closet in the computer room and be afraid that something will fall on my head..

The problem I am running into is that I need containers, storage bins, something, to put little things in and keep them neat and tidy. That costs money, and I just can't justify spending the money. So I suppose I will have to eventually, but for now, I will make do with what I have.

TOnight, I'm starting in the laundry room. It is small, but seems to collect EVERYTHING. So it may take me a few days, or even a week, to get it done, as I can only work on it during Bella's short naps. And the Kitchen table will be the catch all for everything I take OUT of the laundry room. But I know once I get it done, I will feel so much better, then I can start on another room.

Anyone want to come over and help?

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