Saturday, March 5, 2011

I don't have a title for this one.

I stopped c25k. I have some emotional stress going on, and while everyone tells me exercising will help, I really can't find the time because my brain is so unorganized lately. I feel as though I'm struggling to stay on track each day. I have trouble staying focused, and I am not sure how to correct this situation. 

My parents are about to go through what is bound to be a very messy divorce. While I am only a day away from being 30 (that's a whole other stress!) watching this happen makes me feel like a little kid. Trying to be the mediator, for them, for my brother and sister... it's tiring. I really want to just remove myself from all of it, but I worry about how my sister and brother are doing emotionally, I worry about my mom. She is going through a mid-life crisis, and acting in ways that are not normal for her, and seeming to be a bit irrational. I'm trying to be supportive but I find it even more exhausting to try and decipher the truth from her personal reality every time we talk.  but, i wont go into all those details.. Its just a stresser.

Money is always on the forefront of my worries. Kevin's car is still acting up, mine needs new tired and rotors badly, and of course gas prices really don't help the situation. Everythign seems to be more expensive, and I struggle to find a way to bring in more money for our house, but it is difficult with Kevin's schedule, as we don't want to put Bella in daycare.

Anyhow.. That's what is going on in my life. I'm trying to find ways to make some changes for the positive, but I feel like there is a lot of negative pull around me right now.

2 comments:

  1. Chin up, girl. Things will get better, and don't be distracted by the mess if it gets worse before it does show signs of getting better.

    Also, worry about you and your family. Your parents' issues...while that would be a weight on any child's life, well, isn't YOUR bag of stuff to deal with. It's not your job to act as mediator. They are adults and I'm sure neither one of them would wish you to lose a night's sleep over their situation. They know you have enough on your plate.

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  2. First of all, Happy Belated Birthday! I remember 30 being a tough one for me. Just thought I'd be in a different place at that time. I hope it was a good one despite it being another stress! I'm sorry to hear about your parents and you're right, that is an added stressor. I'm like you. I can't exercise when I am stressed either. Praying for peace for you. :)

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