Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Sometimes Good-Bye is a Second Chance..

If you have been a follower of my blog - you know a few things about me. I blog randomly, sometimes a lot, sometimes I go weeks without posting. I also repeat myself, a lot. It's because of the previous statement -random blogging intervals. I usually forget what I've said, so I just say it all again. Anyhow. the point, I think, was that I'm apologize if what you are about to read is something similar to what you've read recently.

I believe, whole-heartedly, that everything happens for a reason. I also believe that a door never shuts without another one opening, or at least a window being cracked. I am one to try and find the silver lining in a bad situation. Even if the lining is thin, it is ALWAYS there. Recently, my family has fallen into some troubling times. This has resulted in us moving out of our home, and in with my in-laws in Pennsylvania. It also means both Kevin and myself will be working full-time. None of this is anything I ever wanted. We really did try to look for jobs here in Virginia. We WANT to stay here, we love this area, and frankly, I don't want to leave my friends. BUT - the more I think about it, even though it breaks my heart - I cannot dwell on the sad, grim points in our lives. This is a positive experience, I will make it so.

Living with my in-laws will surely be an adjustment. I'm not a slob, but I'm not the tidiest person, either. I occasionally leave a coffee cup on the counter, or a dirty spoon in the sink. My Father in Law, well, lets just say there is never a dirty anything on the counter or sink. Unless I'm there. And even then, about 3.5 seconds after I walk away from it, he's putting it away. It will be an adjustment, for everyone. It will be okay, I know it will. I have to be more conscientious of what I do. They are kind enough to let us stay with them, the last thing I want to do is make them regret it in any way whatsoever. The area they live in is rural. There's a K-Mart, and somewhere there is a Wal-Mart, which I've only been to once, and it was a disaster. In this town, K-Mart trumps Wal-mart. There's no Target - at least not close-by. This is good and bad. I mean, I LOOOOOOVE Target. My bank account, not so much. You see why it's good and bad? Good for the bank account, bad for my love affair with Target. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right?

It is beautiful there, I must say. Lots of fields and quietness. There is a GIGANTIC yard/field for Bella to play in behind the house. a little swing set to play on.. it really will be a great place for Bella to spend the summer.  I plan on looking up some playgroups (I hope) to get a few friends for Bella, and myself.. but with me working full-time, I'm not sure when I'd be able to really organize anything. It will work out, I'm sure. =)

At first I didn't want anything to do with the idea of moving up there. Really. Talking about it, I always used the word 'temporary', No, while we are still saying 6 month with his parents.. I'm feeling some peace about what may come after that 6 months. We may stay in the area. Property (housing) is cheap, and other than the winter being super cold, It really is nice up there. There is a lot to do outdoors, lots of family around, and I know I will  make friends eventually. I have started to really think - this is a good thing. This is a second-chance.

So, in the next week, I have got to say my good-byes. To my friends. The ones who, over the past year or two, have really become my family. Up until this point, the sheer idea of having to say good-bye brought me to tears and immediately wanting to run and sob in my pillow. It was one of these wonderful people that told me something that got me to thinking. She told me that perhaps I was brought into this group to help another mom. That perhaps I made another moms life better, helped her out, even if I don't know I did. Now that my 'job' is done, God is moving me somewhere else, that perhaps I am needed there. I really, REALLY believe that people are brought into our lives and taken out for reasons. Whether we are there to help them, or they are there to help us, everyone that you touch, or that touches you, does so for a reason. To help you learn, and grow, and use that experience to become better. I have rarely ever shut anyone out of my life. Actually, I've never completely closed the door on anyone. I've always left a door ajar, and those that have drifted out, are always welcome back. I never reversed the role in my own line of thinking - I never thought about me being the one drifting out of someone's life.. And so here we are.. just about a week away from me drifting away from a life that I have grown to love more than I thought I did. And a group of people who have undoubtedly touched my life, and my heart. Some are really family, others I have adopted as family. Regardless of WHY or HOW they have become connected to me, they are.

Good-Bye isn't forever. Good-Bye doesn't mean the end. It simply means I'll see you again soon. This good-bye, is a second chance. For my family to re-build and become stronger, and for the friendships I have to be tested, to show their strength. I will see everyone again. So, instead of good-bye, lets say, "So long".

Monday, April 18, 2011

Major Changes are happening!

I'm not going into detail, but due to some unforeseen circumstances, we are moving! Kevin has lost his job and instead of us scraping by to try and pay rent in a place local, his parents have so generously allowed us to come live with them temporarily until we can get on our feet.

I'll admit, at first I was REALLY against it, but the more I think about it, the better I feel about it. Really, I just don't want to leave this area. I have friends. I have AMAZING, supportive, caring, go-out-of-their-way-for-me friends. It's something I've never had growing up - that solid group, people you KNOW, without a doubt, you could rely on. And now I'm leaving them. *Temporarily* I keep saying to myself. But, the reality is, we don't know how long temporarily is. it could be 3 months, 6 months, we could end up getting our own place up there and then it would be even longer. It is also sad because in our group, there are quite a few little girls (and a couple boys!) that are right around Bella's age, and they all play and get along.. I will miss that for her. =(

I am grateful we will have plenty of family around to help us out with anything we need - including watching Bella while Kevin and I both work. That is going to be the biggest blessing of all. I am still considering possibly getting her into a half-day preschool twice a week (eventually) just so she has that interaction. We'll have to see when we get up there.

I'm concerned (probably more than I really need to be) about the sleeping situation. Where will Bella sleep? Where will all her stuff go? I hate feeling like I would be inconveniencing his parents in any way. I know they are going to have to move stuff around, I just don't want to make anything difficult for them - but at the same time, I want everything to be as normal as possible for Bella. It going to be ab adjustment for all of us, and My anxiety is definitely high. Once we get everything situated.. everything will fall into place.

So - thats the update. I have so many things I need to update - pictures and videos, but all of that is on the back burner until we can get everything else in our lives settled down.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Changes..

Things in our life are changing, and changing soon. we are moving, we are both looking for job. we don't know where we will end up, but hopefully we can find someone who will be willing to rent to a couple of unemployed people with a baby.


Prayers are needed, positive vibes, thoughts, whatever.

Thanks.